Worse Nightmare

Last night I woke up at 3:33 am, sheets twisted and cold as ice, from a terrible nightmare. I had gone to the library and got a duffel bag full of books. I was at home enjoying a book of poetry and I notice there’s a smooshed bug on one of the pages. I turn the page, another big smooshed into the poem. Then I see small little red bugs the size of ticks crawling out of the book. I go look at the duffel bag and they’re crawling on the floor around the bag. I run to show my mom. We grab a magnifying glass and take a close look to see what the bugs are they look like something between a tick, lice, and a cockroach. I’m starting to panic because they’re getting everywhere in the house. I start making plans to wash all my clothes. My mom says something calm like, “No need, there’s nothing we can do about it now.” And I’m panicking more because that’s totally unlike my mother in real life and I don’t know what do to without her.

If I were to interpret my own dream, I imagine it means that I’m stressed. Yesterday, I was work at a school and afterwards went to the public library. This morning I woke up and received results from a covid test: positive. While I’m glad I got my test results back so quickly, I think something in me knew I was positive and I felt bad about going into those public spaces. I also felt bad cause it’s more then likely I caught covid from kids at school. I love my job but I hate that aspect of being a teacher. The worst part of the nightmare was not the bugs tho, it was my dream-mother’s reaction. Who is this Coraline-esque button eyed woman! I think my waking life self is scared to be so far away from my mother while being sick with an illness I don’t fully understand.


I’ve been lucky (and careful) so far this 2 years and now the reality of this pandemic is setting into my system. I am officially positive with Covid. I feel ok however I am not in a very good mood right now. I do have several of the symptoms but I’m more frustrated then anything. Part of me thinks that I have been ignoring some of the symptoms over the last few days because I just don’t want to have it and it’s so easy to justify symptoms with some other reasoning (it’s not covid, I’m short of breath and coughing cause I smoke weed, I have a headache bc I haven’t drank enough water, I’ve a runny nose cause it’s winter, I’ve a…). Considering that variants are still emerging I need to be a more responsible adult than just sitting here in denial. I don’t want to look back on this from the future and see myself as someone willing to put other people in unnecessary danger because of my own ego. Even though omicron is less severe than other variants this somehow still feels like a death sentence. I’m glad at least that part is not true. I’m going to head into exile, even from the internet just in case it’s more transmissible then we expect. I’ll be reading and writing comics and watching movies, there’s one in particular I’m excited about: 1957 sci-if/horror The Black Scorpion.

See y’all in about 5 days. If anyone needs me I’ll be in my trailer. #melodramatic-response-to-testing-positive #humor-is-my-coping-mechanism-but-i-seriously-do-have-covid-19 #fussbucket

WHFS Tasting notes

It’s not simply the taste of whiskey that makes me love whiskey. I love the culture around whiskey. Whisky has a fuck-you-don’t-tell-me-what-to-do attitude that comes thru smoothly in its caramel color. Whiskey can take a joke as well as it tells them. Whiskey has a history of making a joke out of laws like prohibition

and still

It’s not necessary the lawlessness that I respect most. What I love and respect about whiskey is that it has a culture of caring for quality, consistency, and a dedication to providing what people want even in uncertain times.

And yet,

it’s not outside it’s own culture to say

fuck being drunk,

Fuck whiskey it’s disgusting,

fuck drinking alcohol entirely,

Definitely fuck driving drunk, and

hell yea

to drinking responsibly.

Whatever is in your cup, be it water, wine, or whiskey,


To you, to yours, and to these uncertain times.

Old Forester Kentucky straight Bourbon whisky 🥃. 86 proof. $18-25

Smells like: your grandmas couch cushion after a hot make out session.

Tastes like: acid rain drained off a tin roof

Woodford reserve Kentucky straight Bourbon whiskey 🥃90.4 proof $35-40

Smells like: caramel corn from 3 Halloween’s ago

Tastes like: bitter orange rinds soaked in finger nail polish remover

One Comment Add yours

  1. Well, Emily… Believe it or not. I’ve been living that nightmare. About the bugs. My bed was infested with them. I had to buy a bunch of bug spray to clear the fuckers out. They’re not gone exactly… But they’ve relented enough so that I could sleep in my own bed. Yes… 3:33… That mystical time. I like to think of it as a sign that your guardian angels are looking out and over you. Hope COVID didn’t get you down too much. And thank you for giving me something to read. Your nightmare is my life. Great…


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